Spiritual Disturbances

No, this is not a joke. Those who are genuinely seeking this type of service or advice will unfortunately be fully aware of this.

Okay, so you think you have a ghost / haunting / poltergeist / spirit / demon / hat man etc.

No problemo! Easy fix.

There's many weird & wonderful and also countless amounts of very mundane & boring reasons why it may appear that a person or place is experiencing spiritual issues or activity. 99.9% of the time it isn't spiritual. If it is spiritual, it's not really a problem. Spirits are very subtle and delicate, they are very difficult to sense or perceive by even the most spiritually tuned in meat bags, walking upon this earth.

They have no domain over the realm of the living. They can't hurt you or do anything at all. They are not a problem to any living person or thing, in the slightest. What is a problem is... your own fear and imagination. That's it, that's all.

Genuine spirits are very easy to get rid of, just tell them to leave. There's no such thing as evil spirits or demons as portrayed in folklore or Hollywood, alike.

Control your imagination, control your thoughts, control your fear. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Look up cognitive behavioural therapy or acceptance or exposure therapy for phobias or traumas. That's how to sort your paranormal issues.

There are occasions when low vibrational energies may enter our space. They are not sentient or anything other than an energy that can affect our emotions, if we aren't actively in control our own thought patterns or emotional states. Cognitive behavioural therapy can provide us tools to control our own thoughts and emotions to combat things like this, as well as keeping our mental health in tip top condition!

My personal favourite method of banishing any low vibrational energy what enters my home or personal space is to stick my headphones on, listen to some funky tunes and have a wee song and dance while I do some hoovering & cleaning. This gets the blood pumping, endorphins flowing and it makes me feel really good when I pretend I'm singing just like Gloria Gaynor with my noise cancelling headphones on. This positive energy produced by me transmutes any negative energy present into positive AND I get a nice clean environment to live in, which in turn makes me feel more positive in general. WIN!

Obviously, everyone is different. Whatever makes you feel good / happy - do that and any low vibes will just bugger right off, away from you.

It really is as simple as that. In practice it takes a bit of dedication and practice to utilise the mental tools required to keep a more positive mental outlook. CBT is your weapon against any spookies. It's origins can be traced back as far as the Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece. These are tried and tested methods used by humans for over a millennia, at least. Possibly even longer, it just wasn't written down anywhere. I have even named all my cats after stoic philosophers.

Please, if you're experiencing any spookies & heebie jeebies, just do the above. If that doesn't work, then please read on.

There are some prerequisite requirements to be carried out, before anyone can even contact me regarding enquiries into the spiritual disturbances services.

I do not reply to emails asking about spiritual disturbance services without the corresponding proof that the following steps have already been taken. I mostly receive prank or hateful emails regarding this service and the rest are usually ruled out through the 6 steps below, so I'm sorry if you're trying to earnestly reach out me about this service and you're being ignored. All emails without the supporting evidence that the following 6 steps have already been taken, will be immediately deleted.

Please firstly, title your email as "Spiritual Disturbance Service Enquiry" and then provide photos of the following within the body of the email - not as separate downloads or a zip file - emails with attachments are not even opened, just deleted.

Please provide photographic evidence and details of the following:

1. 1. Proof that you have an appropriate number of carbon monoxide monitors in your living space and that they are fully functioning. I expect a receipt from a professional company having recently checked this and I will contact them to check the details of the inspection.

2. 2. You & / or those experiencing the disturbances have been fully assessed by a mental health professional. I will require permission to discuss any mental health issues with doctors &/or specialists. It is up to you to arrange this, so all I have to do is contact them at a pre arranged time, leave me their names and contact details. I will specifically require information regarding any mental health issues, past and present as well as any prescribed medications and history of any misuse of substances or recreational drug use. All the information discussed with your health professionals is not recorded or stored in any way, GDPR compliance is upheld fully. If you wish to receive a signed non disclosure agreement from myself beforehand to ensure legal confidentiality, please state this. The solicitors fees for this and the legal release waivers for the disturbance services, if provided, must be paid for by yourself in advance. The solicitor used is mine, I will not use one suggested by anyone else.

4. 3. Your living space or affected area has been assessed by a professional company for mould and any other environmental contaminants. Furnishings such as carpets and bedding are checked for any chemical off gassing. Again, I require a photo of a report or receipt produced by a professional company and I will contact them regarding the details of the inspection and findings.

6. 4. The electrical wiring and boxes of the living space and should be assessed by a professional company. Electrical items which are affected with any issues should be PAT tested by a professional company. A photo of the report / receipt is required, again, I will check with the company.

5. 5. The space has been fully checked and exhausted for any mundane reasons behind the disturbances.

7. 6. Residents of the affected area have vacated the residence for a minimum two weeks. Personal items and clothes brought from the affected residence are thoroughly washed and are constructed of natural materials (some synthetic materials from items such as clothes or toys can produce chemical gasses or VOC's which may cause perception issues in some sensitive individuals. This is an issue with items produced in countries where production methods or materials may be completely unregulated). All cosmetics and processed foods etc. consumed during this time are products produced by EU regulated companies. No drugs or alcohol may be consumed during this time away from the affected living space.

9. The disturbances return immediately upon return to the property or have followed the affected persons and the intensity of incidents or disturbances have not decreased in this time. IF proof of the first 4 conditions have been provided in your email enquiry, I will contact you for further details and any video evidence you may have captured during this time away from the living space.

If the intensity of the disturbances decreased during this period, it is advised to permanently vacate the affected residence and discard the contents of the property. If issues remain after 3 months in a new living space, the 6 conditions must be repeated - you might have yourself a possible Bona fide issue with something that doesn't belong here, but still not a ghost / spirit / demon etc.

At this stage we will arrange the legal documents and service fees, which will be signed & paid in full before my arrival.

I will not reply to any inquiries or correspondences that do not already meet these 6 prerequisites with the required evidence in the email, as directed.

I will not answer any questions or emails that involve anything other than booking the other services available on this website.

Thank you.

Ephie x